Raise your Mama hand high in the air if you desire to run a household that encourages both parenting and marital fulfillment and success? (And all the hands go up!)
Isn’t that what so much of us are after? If we could ensure our children are happy, healthy, and love the Lord – whoa, that’s a win! If we can do it while being close and maintaining a loving, supportive marriage in the process – now that’s the dream!
Today we are going to discuss the little things we can do that will make a big impact.
Those little things come in the form of consistent routines. We want consistent routines that make a difference. There was some research done recently that studied 349 families that had a father, mother, and preschooler present in the home. They studied their consistent routines for 1.5 years and came to find some pretty great (but maybe not completely surprising) stuff.
The families that had consistent routines benefited greatly in 3 main ways …
These consistent routines were not groundbreaking by any means. They are things that I bet most of you are doing today in your homes. The amazing part is that by ensuring we start (or continue) these consistent routines, we can place our families in the position to reap the following benefits found in this study.
1. Increased school-readiness for children
Regardless of your school-choice, school-readiness is a skill that we need to ensure our children are developing. What I mean by that is that they are in the place to academically and socially-emotionally grow. It has little to do with what they already attained or currently are able to do, but rather, it is the skill that allows them to continue to build upon their knowledge and skills (both academically, socially, and emotionally) This would include things such as the ability to respect authority, engage for a length of time, put forth effort towards new things, and engage with unfamiliar peers. These are all skills that will allow for them to interact with the world around them to grow both academically, socially, and emotionally. One of the prerequisites of this much-needed school-readiness skill is to establish consistent routines that occur within your home. This will be the foundation to allow your child to grow.
2. Increased collaboration within marriage which leads to higher feelings of satisfaction
The families that showed strong consistent routines had an amazing thing in common; the wife would report high levels of communication, collaboration, and ultimately marital satisfaction. What do you think the husband reported? Yep, the same exact thing! They were both feeling supported and fulfilled. Ultimately, their conversation was able to make a shift. When they did find time for themselves, they didn’t use it to discuss when softball practice would be, how to discipline Suzy, and who was going to pick up the groceries. Did they have to have those conversations sometimes? Absolutely! Probably everyday still is my guess. What I imagined happened though, is that those conversations became shorter. They didn’t have to discuss whether or not they were enrolling in another travel season, or who was taking the lead on grocery shopping. Those routines were already established and worked out. Having established and consistent routines then led to more time to converse about things of deeper meaning and value. This ultimately leads to a well-ran home which leads to higher marital time and satisfaction.
3. Fathers’ satisfaction led to stronger social-emotional children
Loads of research shows the correlation between father’s involvement and the success of their children in all aspects of the child’s life. God designed the family in a certain way. It is not an accident. We all bring something to our family team that allows for it to bless each other and build one another up. Unfortunately, our fathers sometimes are not as present as we’d like for them to be. If you find yourself there today, I’d encourage you to begin with self-reflection. We cannot change anyone, but rather we must start with ourselves. Begin the self-reflection by evaluating your consistent household routines. The research shows that if your husband is fulfilled, they are more likely to invest in their marriage and children. If we are running homes that are loud, chaotic, and full of mess and clutter; we have to first improve ourselves before we can demand improvement from our spouse. I know those are really hard words to read. I also want to preface that all situations are different, in addition to recognizing that it is not our responsibility to ensure he acts upon his God-called role. He will be accountable to God for the investment that he made in his children. I’m simply encouraging that we evaluate our home’s systems and consistent routines to see if we could help him in the process. The research showed a direct link between routines, father’s satisfaction, and his investment in his family. If you are struggling in this area, starting with improving and establishing consistent routines may be of assistance.
What routines are we talking about?
That’s a great question! Not all routines are beneficial for children. For example, children who are regular late sleepers exhibit more unhealthy eating habits than children who go to bed early. Rather, this specific study outlines 3 different areas that we should focus on in terms of having good and solid routines.
Monthly Challenge
Take just 10 minutes out of your week and evaluate how you are doing in each of these three areas with your routines. I created the document in a printable form, you can also download it off my website under the freebies, or just click and print, so that you can mark it up and look back on it.
Ask yourself some of these questions …
- Which is my strongest and weakest category?
- Should I be including my husband in more or less on my routines?
- Do my children know and understand the routines?
- What is one routine I’d like to implement or improve upon this month?
Want more?
If this is something you’d be interested in working on, I can help in a few ways
- Email me contact@jennayoungconsulting.com and I’d be happy to set up a short-term cost-effective package to get you and your family back on track with routines so that you can begin living out all of these benefits!
- Get your copy of my book Learning As We Grow, which reviews some best-practices and routines that combine both God’s Word & research-based methods
- Subscribe if you haven’t already to ensure you stay up to date on resources
Reference
Ren, Lixin, et al. “Consistent Routines Matter: Child Routines Mediated the Association between Interparental Functioning and School Readiness.” Early Childhood Research Quarterly, vol. 61, 2022, pp. 145–157, https://doi.org/10.1016/j.ecresq.2022.07.002.
Pure Truth!