If you know me, you may know I love a good tradition. I do have a tendency to go a little overboard sometimes, but it’s always such fun! There is something about engaging in traditions that bring our soul stability. Our human nature is created to long for this stability and predictability. We like to be in the know, and it brings us great comfort when we know what is coming.
Benefits of family traditions
This week, I’ve realized I’m not alone. There is actually a wealth of benefits for our children when we engage in family traditions. Some of the research I viewed this week shared it provides:
Positive interactions between generations
Increased learning opportunities
Understanding and appreciation of time
Opportunities to create lasting memories
Feelings of belonging and security
Reinforcement of our values and beliefs
(GET YOUR FREEBIE HERE ON THIS)
It doesn’t have to be anything over the top, either. It really can be something very simple. There are just three criteria: being together as a family, engaging in a familiar activity, and doing it during a certain time.
Three types of children who benefit
While traditions are beneficial for every child, when I did some digging, I found there are three types of children who actually benefit the most from engaging in family traditions.
The teen
A 2015 study discovered that the practice of family traditions played a significant role in increasing social connectedness within the family for teens especially. The teens that engaged in traditions with their family were less likely to report feelings of anxiety or depression. So, while they may give you eye rolls, think you are lame, and complain that you are making them go; whether they realize it or not, they are actually better people for it.
The child in a blended family
Blending a family together can be a long and sometimes difficult journey. Research supports that an effective way to come together and find a new family identify that all children can be excited about is by developing and engaging in new family traditions. Creating new memories provides the blended family opportunities to create shared experiences that will bond them together in a deeper way.
The grieving child
When a family experiences loss, it was reported that families typically decrease the number of traditions they engage in due to their grief. They often times need permission and encouragement to carry out family traditions. It can be painful to relive family traditions when it triggers memories of loved ones who have passed, and they may require support creating new or modified traditions. Research shows that continuing traditions, even if they are different, establish security and a sense of family strength for the child involved.
Practical traditions
I have been guilty of dragging my family through activities that were unfeasible, unrealistic, and unwelcomed all in the sake of, “oh but it’s a family tradition!” Last year, we totally walked the zoo while it was downpouring rain and freezing cold because we needed to see the zoo lights! Mamas, please don’t follow that example! If you do, please choose rain boots over Uggs. I speak from experience …
There is a fine line between doing something because you feel you have to, and doing something because it truly is fun for the whole family. Find something that everyone can enjoy, and go for it. Be sure to also revisit traditions as your children age, too.. There is a chance your family has outgrown something, and that is okay. You can always find something new. Traditions do not have to be set in stone. As life changes, so can your traditions. It’s not so important what you do, as long as you are doing it together.
Holiday traditions
You can certainty have traditions any time of year (and I encourage that you do), but my personal favorite are Christmas traditions! Oh, how I love them! This is also coming from the Mama who owns 5 Christmas trees and forces her family to walk the zoo in the rain – so keep that in mind!
A new family tradition I want to start this year though is ensuring I’m bringing Christ back into our family Christmas. It’s something I say I’m going to do; I value it deeply – but practically I always kind of feel like I fall short. I mean, I would always talk about Jesus’ birth, we would bring out the nativity play set, and I’d have conversations about the holiday’s meaning; at the end of the day though, I was still unsure if he really got it. As a response, this year I created ADORE, which is a 10-day family advent experience. Will you join us? I’d love to do it with company! I’m committing to teach, reflect, and meditate on God’s great love that He would send us His only son.
I WANT TO LEARN MORE ABOUT ADORE
Better or best?
Mamas, the best traditions of all are the ones that point us back to the Lord. They are the ones that carry deep meaning and allow us to appreciate what really matters most in life. Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely love the zoo lights, but if I stopped there, I’d be doing my kids a great injustice. Let’s not settle for good. True, traditions are good for the family, and healthy for our children. Let’s go for what is best, though! Let’s commit to be Mamas that are intentional about incorporating traditions that are depth-filled and rich in the gospel. These will not only leave our children with the amazing benefits that traditions can bring, but also with the knowledge that there is a God who loves them infinitely more than we ever could.
References:
Coleson, Justin. “Family Traditions Help Kids Make Sense of Life.” Institute for Family Studies, https://ifstudies.org/blog/family-traditions-help-kids-make-sense-of-life.
Nelms, Bobbie Crew. “Giving Children a Great Gift: Family Traditions.” Journal of Pediatric Health Care, vol. 19, no. 6, 2005, pp. 345–346., https://doi.org/10.1016/j.pedhc.2005.07.010.
Nielsen, Heather, et al. “Why Family Traditions Are Proven to Be so Valuable.” Choosing Wisdom, 7 Dec. 2021, https://www.choosingwisdom.org/family-traditions-proven-valuable/.
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