Good Mamas have friends. Friendship makes us better. It makes us better people, and ultimately, it makes us better Mamas.
So why are true Mama friendships fading away? If you can count on one hand the number of actual friends you have, you are considered one blessed Mama. I bet you’re asking, yeah but what are you considering to be a friend? Friendships are as unique as the individuals they are made up of. Yet, there are some categories of friendships, and I hope you’ll humor me as we review 5 different types of friendships that I believe every Mama needs to have in their life.
There’s the Encouraging Mama friend. This is the Mama friend you call when you need an ear to bend. You call her when there’s something heavy on your heart, and you just need to vent. You need a good listener who will patiently and attentively hear you out. You don’t go to her for answers, rather you go to her to be built up. This friend is someone who knows the deep parts of who you are. You can be transparent with her and speak freely without making it come out perfectly. You can be raw, real, and rough around the edges. You know you’ll walk away refreshed.
If you have a problem you need to solve, you will want to seek out your Mentor Mama friend. This Mama friend is an expert in a particular area that you’re needing support in. Maybe she has training in that area, has been through something you’re about to embark on, or simply is just one darn good Mama. You look up to her. You can trust that she will provide you solid advice and a step-by-step plan. She’s your girl for getting you going to make some real change in an area. There’s not much small talk, but rather you jump right into the deep stuff. You know she’ll hold you accountable and be your catalyst for change. You know you’ll walk away equipped.
Then, there’s the Bestie Mama friend. This Mama is probably in the same season of life as you. They are going through similar struggles and you both go through them together. You add a little encouragement, a little laughter, and a lot of brainstorming on how you can both be better. You know it’s a Bestie Mama friendship when you both equally share and accept advice and direction from one another. You talk to this Mama friend most often. You typically do play dates and life with her. You know you’ll walk away encouraged.
When you’re feeling tired from all the struggles of being Mama, that’s when you reach out to your Fun Mama friend. You can count on her for a much-needed pick-me-up. She is the one that will make you laugh so hard you’ll snort. There may or may not be depth to your conversations, but she is kind. She makes time for you. She recognizes the need to unwind, and will be your gal to attend those conferences, movies, and shopping days. She makes time with you a priority. You know you’ll walk away recharged.
Lastly, there’s the Younger Mama friend. She may be young in age. She is new to this mothering thing, and is trying to figure it all out. She may be young in her journey of friendship. She may have been on this mothering journey by herself for quite some time, and is just starting to see the need for connection. She doesn’t have the same circle of friends you do. She may be unsure and insecure. Regardless, you are half way down the race and see her standing at the start line. You make time to turn around and welcome her to walk in your footsteps. You offer her counsel, advice, and suggestions. You know you’ll both walk away blessed.
God’s Word tells us that a sweet friend refreshes your soul (Proverbs 27:9) Research tells us that friendship allows us to live happier and healthier lives. Research also tells us that our kids even benefit when we have friendships.
Make the decision today to be a friend. Then, grab your copy of the FREE MAMA FRIEND FINDER. Set a goal that you’ll reach out to 5 different friends; one in each category. For some, finding 5 people to call friend may seem impossible. For some, you have many friends, but you are seeing now that all of them are in just one category. Some of you expect your one friend to be all of these 5 things, and wonder why this friendship thing isn’t working out. The MAMA FRIEND FINDER tool is a great resource to finding and maintaining friendships. Good Mamas have friends. It’s worth the time. I guarantee both you and your kiddos will reap the benefits.
References:
Degges‐White, Suzanne, and Marcela Kepic. “Friendships, Subjective Age, and Life Satisfaction of Women in Midlife.” Adultspan Journal, vol. 19, no. 1, 2020, pp. 39–53., https://doi.org/10.1002/adsp.12086.
Shin, Eun Kyong, et al. “Association of Maternal Social Relationships with Cognitive Development in Early Childhood.” JAMA Network Open, vol. 2, no. 1, 2019, https://doi.org/10.1001/jamanetworkopen.2018.6963.
Yang, Yang Claire, et al. “Social Relationships and Physiological Determinants of Longevity across the Human Life Span.” Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, vol. 113, no. 3, 2016, pp. 578–583., https://doi.org/10.1073/pnas.1511085112.