When it comes to being Mama, communication is the name of the game. So many problems can be prevented if we can just ensure we are being effective communicators. I mean, this really is for every relationship we have in life, but especially for our Mama role. Communication is one of those big concepts, though.. It’s something we do all the time, yet it’s difficult to truly assess how “good we are” at it. So, at the end of the day, what is good communication?
Be Intentional
I see that it can be boiled down to two main concepts. The first is being intentional. This means that we are making it a point to communicate. It’s our mission. It’s our goal. It’s our focus. It is something that we plan for and set time aside to do. If you don’t plan to communicate, you will inevitably fill your days with other things. The sad truth is there’s never a shortage of “to dos” on our list, and our tasks will rise higher and higher in priority while communication with our kiddos fall slow and steady to the bottom.
If you haven’t yet subscribed to be my Mama friend, I’d encourage you to do that below. By doing this, you’ll receive my Mama planner. If we are already friends, I’d encourage you to go ahead and pull that out. At the top corner of this planner, I have a Mama goal of the week. This is a quick and easy way I found works for me to be intentional on improving as Mama. As you plan out your week, this planner allows for you to plan a Mama goal as well.
Maybe this week you can be intentional about your communication. Decide on a goal and go for it. Every week I create a Mama goal for myself. My last week’s goal was to play for at least 10 minutes each day, the week before that I had a goal to not raise my voice while doing the dreaded 5,000 steps to get out the door for school. It helps me, and I guarantee it can help you too!
Distractions
There are many things that can easily rob us of our intentionality. These are things that distract us and take us away from the main point. Our calling. Our kids.
- Fun activities – Yes, you heard that right. There are times I love new and fun activities, and yet there’s other times I actually kind of dread them. What I personally find is that sometimes fun activities for the whole family just become so much of a “to do” that I lose the point. I spend so much time packing, planning and preparing for the event that I’m not fully present to enjoy the moment. Or other times I hype the event up so much in my mind, that I just drag the family along whether they are enjoying it with me or not. Have you heard my zoo lights story? READ IT HERE! These activities that are intended to be a fulfilling and bonding experience quickly turn into a dreaded task when intentional communication is lacking. At least for me, when these big events happen, my communication is the first to go. I just bark out orders, and the event is here and gone before I could have quality time.
- Screens – I’m truly convinced it’s the Devil in disguise. Okay, so I know that’s a bit dramatic, but I just cringe at the hold it has over us and our lives. I wouldn’t consider myself a “phone person.” I’m not tempted by the newest technology. I’m not on social media. I don’t have any games on my phone. I don’t even talk on the phone, really. However, even with all of those specific areas not having a hold over me, I still find myself scrolling my phone when I should be with my kids. I’m checking e-mail, reading the news, seeing if my library book came in, ordering something off Amazon, and then before you know it – there goes an hour of my time! It’s subtle and sneaky. Screens are robbing us of our quality time. It’s something worth being hyperaware of and even seeking out accountability if you find this is a struggle. I’m working on this, Mama friend. I’m trying to be intentional too and stop scrolling when I should be in the moment. The days are long, but the years are short. Let’s not waste them on our phone.
Be Proactive
When you are being proactive, you are anticipating the circumstance, and preparing for it prior to it occurring. In essence, being proactive is the opposite of being reactive. I like to think of in that way. One way I encourage parents to be proactive is to have set expectations for things that are going to occur regularly. For instance, you eat dinner as a family every day. So, why not have clear expectations surrounding that time of day? The expectations should not change, and by setting them you will be proactive.
So, I hear you thinking. What does having expectations have to do with my communication? You see, so much of our time as Mama includes instructional talking. This is where we are speaking to share and provide information. Now just think, if we could decrease the level of times we have to explain something, how much more time would there be for deeper and higher-level communication?
In addition to that though, having expectations will improve our communication because when something does happen, we will know if this is a misunderstanding or a misbehavior. When expectations are fuzzy, then the consequences are fuzzy. You will find yourself over-explaining the expectation when you should be discipling – its misbehavior not a misunderstanding. Or the opposite is true as well. You will find yourself discipling, when in all actuality, it was a misunderstanding and they didn’t fully understand. When we are proactive and have clear expectations, it is the breeding ground for healthy communication to grow and develop.
The Nourished Mom
I had the opportunity to sit down and chat with Brandy Coffin on this topic of healthy communication in motherhood. We talk a little deeper about how we can be more intentional and proactive in our interactions. Will you tune in? Click and listen now!
