Trying New Things

There are two types of people in this world. First, there’s the Adventurer. This is your thrill seeker. They thrive on unpredictability and the excitement of not knowing what will happen next. They tend to be the ones who love to explore, try exotic foods, and ride on that insane slingshot ride. Have you ever seen one of those things? Go YouTube it right now. I mean, any ride that makes multiple people pass out just doesn’t seem fun to me. But hey, that’s just because I’m a Planner. 

The counterpart of the Adventurer is the Planner. They prefer to know what the day will look like. They will be the ones holding the map, and being the responsible one of the group. Anything that requires some level of risk isn’t their jam. You’ll find them having fun playing the carnival games and maybe even riding the Ferris wheel as they watch the Adventurers be whipped out on the slingshot like a rag doll. 

I understand that those are two extremes, and most of us typically fall somewhere in the middle. What is so interesting to me though, is how innate this personality trait is. If you have multiple children, there’s a high probability you have one of each type of child in your family. 

As Mamas, we tend to instruct our children to be Planners. This is the safe route, right? When calculating the risk, it just seems better. What we find though is that the Adventurer has got one major thing right. They like to try new things! One thing we know from the research is that trying new things is absolutely a pivotal piece of a healthy and well-rounded childhood, which ultimately leads to living a stable adult life. 

Growth Mindset

There is a psychologist by the name of Carol Dweck who did lots of work in this area. What he found was that it’s extremely important to have a Growth Mindset. When we refer to a Growth Mindset in psychology, it can be described a few different ways. I like to describe it as understanding that things take time. It is a state of mind that truly grasps what the learning process entails, and that it is in fact a process. It’s a state of understanding that learning involves mistakes. It’s understanding the value of perseverance. It’s realistic that things will be difficult at first, but knowing that in the end it will totally be worth it. It’s believing that you can do it, and having the confidence to take that step of faith. Having a Growth Mindset is imperative to living a happy, confident, and fulfilling adult life. When is this mindset developed, though? Yep, you guessed it. In your childhood!

The opposite is a Fixed Mindset. This is expecting that things should come easy to us. It’s a way of thinking that if something doesn’t come natural to us, that it isn’t worth doing at all. It’s being a perfectionist. It’s encouraging someone else to keep trying, but telling yourself you’re worthless when you fail. Having a Fixed Mindset shows up in your life when you only engage in things you are “good at” and avoid areas you believe you may potentially fail. It’s giving up and quitting when things get hard. It’s avoiding things that take time and effort, even if you think you may end up enjoying it. It’s having lots of goals with little action. Having a Fixed Mindset typically results in you having few hobbies and close friends, because you do not think the end results are worth the effort. 

Cultivating a Growth Mindset in our children sets them up for a future of stability. They will be stable emotionally, which will lead them to be confident in themselves. This confidence will inevitably bubble over into them being stable vocationally – as they believe they can reach for the stars. They will be stable relationally – as they have realistic expectations that people are all in progress and that relationships take time. They will be stable spiritually – as they believe that God is good and trustworthy even when we can’t grasp all His ways. 

How do we raise our children to have Growth Mindsets? 

Trying New Things

It all begins by having them try new things. When they try new things, they will discover that not everything comes easy. There will be some things that they dislike, taste gross, or are plain not enjoyable to them. Yet, they will also find that there are hidden joys when we are open-minded. They will find that hard work really does pays off. They will build confidence that they can learn anything if they put their mind and effort towards it. Your children will develop an appreciation for the learning process. They will appreciate new experiences, and welcome opportunities as they arise. They will see that trying new things ultimately provides enjoyment, leads to higher satisfaction in life, and provides meaning and memories to our days. 

Trying new things is something that most children shy away from. If you are raising an Adventurer, it will be a little easier to convince them over the Planner. Mama, just encourage them. Continually present opportunities for them to try. Don’t force them. Just encourage. Don’t sugar coat it. Use phrases like, “this may be hard at first, but you’ll get better if you practice.” You can say, “if you get in and change your mind, we could always leave.” Gain their trust that they have your approval even though they fail. Ensure they know you will not leave them, embarrass them, or force them. Yet also have them know that YOU love trying new things because God put a lot of really neat stuff in this world for us to enjoy. You never know what you may be missing out on if you don’t try.

I promise if you keep providing new opportunities, your children will eventually begin to try new things. These new experiences will strengthen and develop their Growth Mindset. This is ultimately setting them up for long-term stability, and it all begins by trying something new. So, when are you riding the slingshot? 

This week’s FREEBIE is a list of new things you can your kiddo can try this Fall. I’d encourage you to accept the challenge and see how many new things you can try together! 

I ACCEPT THE CHALLENGE!    

References:

Diestelkamp, N. (2018). Lifelong learning in active ageing discourse: its health and vulnerability. Ageing & Society, 38(4), 651-675; Jenkins,

Mostafa, T. (2015). The effects of learning on wellbeing for older adults in England. Ageing and Society, 35(10), 2053-2070; conserving effect on wellbeing, Mental Health Foundation (2011) Learning for Life: Adult learning, mental health and wellbeing. London: Mental Health Foundation.

 Ryff, C. D. (2014). Psychological well-being revisited: Advances in the science and practice of eudaimonia. Psychotherapy and psychosomatics, 83(1), 10-28.; Aked, J., Marks, N., Cordon, C. & Thompson, S. (2008). Five Ways to Wellbeing: A report presented to the Foresight Project on communicating the evidence base for improving people’s well-being. 

Sabates, R, Hammond, C (2008) The impact of lifelong learning on happiness and wellbeing, NIACE and Institute of Education.

Jenkins (2015). The effects of learning on wellbeing for older adults in England. Ageing and Society

Dweck, C. (2006, 2017) Mindset: The New Psychology of Success. Robinson; Dweck, C. (2015) Carol Dweck revisits the Growth Mindset. Education Week. Retrieved from: http://www.edweek.org/ew/articles/2015/09/23/carol-dweck-revisits-the-growth-mindset.html