Growing up, I had an ant problem in my bedroom. It was self-inflicted, and my sister and I are totally the people to blame. As teenagers, we started bringing food up to our rooms. Despite all my mother’s requests to bring down the dishes, we didn’t listen. This soon led to an ant problem that got a bit out of control. It was just one ant at first. It then turned into a few ants a week. Before we knew it though, we had a swam of ants! It was quite horrifying. We can laugh about this at family get togethers now, but we all had ant repellent and came together as a team to defeat the ants that were overtaking our bedroom!
This illustration is one of my favorites, because it aligns perfectly with what we are going to be discussing today. ANTS in psychology is an acronym used to mean Automatic Negative Thoughts. These are thoughts that seem to pop up out of nowhere. It’s a random idea that jumps into your mind. However, this isn’t a happy thought. This is a negative thought. This is typically a thought describing yourself, and it paints you in a negative light.
Why do I always mess things up?
Why can’t I be more like them?
I bet they don’t like me.
Now, having the thought isn’t the problem. They are automatic. So that means that we all have them, and they are out of our control. The frequency is unique to the person, but it does happen to everyone. The difference is, some of us linger on these automatic thoughts. We give them more thinking time than we should. The time that we spend contemplating, evaluating, and eventually having an emotional response towards the thought then provides the thought with fuel. It’s like gasoline to a fire. This thought, which was just an Automatic Negative Thought, now will take root and begin to take effect.
It’s just like the ants story in my bedroom. You’ll focus on just one negative thought about yourself. Next, you will think about them a few times a week. Then, before you know it, you have a swarm! ANTS have overtaken your thinking. Automatic Negative Thoughts about yourself are swirling, and you feel captive to the power and hold it has over you. You are crippled by negativity, and in response your self-image, self-worth, and self-concept all suffer. The end result – typically depression.
What makes ANTS so difficult, is that everyone has them. We all think negative things about ourselves from time to time. The difference here, the real game changer, is how we respond. If you leave with one Mama tip for the day, make it this …
Teach your child that their thoughts have power.
We think that our thoughts are something that we can hold onto for ourselves. What nobody knows won’t hurt them. In reality though, negative thoughts are poison. Thoughts effect our emotions, which will end up show up in our actions because thoughts have power.
Getting rid of the ANTS
If you find that you are struggling with a negative self-image, or can identify that you are a depression sufferer – I always start with an ANTS log. This is how it works. When you have a negative thought about yourself, I want you to pause and write it down. Before it, I want you to write the trigger. This can be anything that you think may have caused you to think that way. This could be talking with a specific person, going to a certain place, or doing a particular activity. Then after the thought, I want you to write an adaptive thought. This is the healthy way that you should think in that same context moving forward.
Here’s an example …
It’s really simple. You do not need a formal worksheet to do this. However, if you are a worksheet-lover like myself, or if you would like to use this with your child, you can print the one I created for you here.
I typically do not recommend using this ANTS worksheet with children under the age of 15 since it does require some higher-level thinking and self-awareness skills. However, if you are a Mama of littles who wishes to use these methods, there is great value in starting young. Remember our tip for the day is “your thoughts have power.” Teaching them the power of their thoughts at a young age is an amazing skill.
I have an adaptation that can help you achieve this. You simply provide an observation of something you love about them. You say something like, “You are so smart!” You then follow it up with the question, “What is something you like about yourself?” This will begin to build their self-esteem, which is ultimately the weapon against Automatic Negative Thoughts. When they experience ANTS, if a child has high self-esteem, they generally will be able to toss them out as they should.
The bible echoes the importance of our thought life, but I especially love when it commands …
Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things
Philippians 4:8
Thinking right is the medicine to so many ailments. Thinking right allows us to feel right, and ultimately do right. Can you imagine if your thoughts actually circled around everything Philippians 4:8 commands of us? I mean, seriously. How much more joy would you have? Your peace would be overflowing. You would see beauty all around you. Every day would truly be a gift. Then when those Automatic Negative Thoughts pop up, you would immediately spot it as junk, and throw it away.
A saying I heard once was that if you see one ant that means there’s more. The same is true with Automatic Negative Thinking. If we allow one to take root, there will be others. It will eventually grow into a swarm. Instead, we need to exterminate these thoughts as they come. The more you exterminate them, the less frequently you’ll experience them. The more we focus on heavenly things, the beautiful things that life has to offer, and others – the more noticeable ANTS will become. Let’s begin noticing and exterminating. Let’s be Mama’s that recognize that our minds are a battleground, and negativity will not win over this household!
References:
Beck, A. T., Rush, A. J., Shaw, B. F., & Emery, G. (1979). Cognitive Therapy of Depression. New York, NY: The Guilford Press.
Disner, S. G., Shumake, J. D., & Beevers, C. G. (2017). Self-referential schemas and attentional bias predict severity and naturalistic course of depression symptoms. Cognition & Emotion, 31(4), 632-644.
Frewen, P. A., Evans, E. M., Maraj, N., Dozois, D. J. A., & Partridge, K. (2008). Letting Go: Mindfulness and Negative Automatic Thinking. Cognitive Therapy and Research, 32(6), 758-774.
Hicdurmaz, D., Inci, F., & Karahan, S. (2017). Predictors of Mental Health Symptoms, Automatic Thoughts, and Self-Esteem Among University Students. Psychological Reports, 120(4), 650-669.
Hollon, S. D., & Kendall, P. C. (1980). Cognitive self-statements in depression: Development of an automatic thoughts questionnaire. Cognitive Therapy and Research, 4(4), 383-395.
Kendall, P. C., Howard, B. L., & Hays, R. C. (1989). Self-referent speech and psychopathology: The balance of positive and negative thinking. Cognitive Therapy and Research, 13(6), 583-598.
Riley, K. E., Lee, J. S., & Safren, S. A. (2017). The Relationship Between Automatic Thoughts and Depression in a Cognitive-Behavioral Treatment for People Living with HIV/AIDS: Exploring Temporality and Causality. Cognitive Therapy and Research, 41(5), 712-719.